time is the great healer

i could tell you something about my life as it is right now, but i dont wanna make you sad. because everything SUCKS in a freaking stupid way theres no coming back.

was lying down on the grass with my head resting on a dog’s leg an hour ago here at my college campus and this random guy comes up and asks me how come i’m so close and entwined  with nature. at first, i thought he was mocking me, people don’t usually think it’s COOL to bond with the dogs and roll on the grass, something i do a lot. I MEAN, A LOT. anyway, i just said that nature is from where i came. from where we all came. and hopefully to where we are going when we die. how could i not be in love with everything that nature provides us? how could i not want to merge with the trees, the grass, the rain, the soil? i wish i could walk with no shoes everyday. always bare feet, feeling the land right on my thin layers of skin. it’s all beautiful beyond words, the power nature has over me. it’s endless.

pardon my english.

i wish i could explain how tired i am. in every single way it’s possible. how i wake up in the morning wishing i hadn’t, wishing i was already in heaven. i wanted to tell you how broken i am and how life finds a way to fuck up my day everytime i step outside, but i can’t. sometimes words fail. i fail. everyday, when i pretend i’m normal and happy and nice when, truly, i’m fucked. and they all know. i can’t even hide my stupid self from others. people ask me what’s wrong. i’ll tell you whats wrong, life is wrong. when i look in the mirror in the early morning and see my ugly face, that’s when it all comes crashing down. i mean, look at me, look at what you’ve created. there is NO place in which i see myself crossing this bridge. please, let the wind blow and the leaves cover my body. it will be like i never existed. i wish i hadnt.

chegou o ponto em que eu nao me sinto mais confortável pra falar aqui. e agora, fujo pra onde?

não vou conseguir sobreviver nem um dia a mais nessa casa.